Panic Attack

Early in the week I fell UP the steps. I wrote about this -- at least I think I did. Never mind, let's assume I did.

Well, we were returning to the place of THE FALL and during the last hour before our arrival at the place of THE FALL I was getting panicky. The closer we got to the place of THE FALL, the worse I got.

By the time we got to the place of THE FALL, I was sure I was going to have to spend the night in the van because I wouldn't be able to get up those three steps. Just three little steps -- well, not little really, but three steps up into the place we would be spending the night.

Well, God is so very good. I had been praying and praying and praying -- please God help me get through this. Well, one of the men who attends my sister's church was visiting the neighbor of the person who owns this place of THE FALL and he saw me struggling with my walker and recognized me from when I had attended my sister's church last spring. He came over and helped me up those steps (and Alan, too -- another reason for me to panic -- he's not good on steps either). Wasn't God good to provide that person just when I needed him? This morning, I was able to descend the steps with no problems and with the aid of Alan's arm.

For those of you who have never had a problem with falling UP the steps (let alone down the steps) you probably can't think of me as anything but a stupid elderly person with psychophobic inhabitions that are extraordinarily out of kilter with the rest of the elderly population.

Frankly, I never thought I would become as I have become. I'm having more and more panic attacks just because I get in situations where I can't get out of a chair -- you should have seen me trying to get off the couch the other night, or I can't get up a step without a railing unless I crawl on all fours, and then I get to a point where I can't get up from the all fours, and the list goes on.

I am thankful for each day the Lord allows me. I just pray that I can become more normal as I age, not less normal.

Anyway, thought you might like to know about my panic attack.

ttfn