You know you're getting old when...

(1) You grunt and groan out of habit.

It seems I've taken up one of my father's habits -- I grunt and groan a lot. I've noticed this about myself and am trying to limit my daily quota of grunts and groans to two or three per hour, rather than two or three per minute. I'm told I even grunt and groan in my sleep.

Well, duh! I dream I'm in pain and I'm grunting and groaning, and I wake up, and darned if I'm not suffering the pain I just dreamed I was grunting about.

(2) You take showers and still don't feel clean.

I don't know why this is, but lately, I scrub and I scrub and I wash and I wash and I still feel like I need a shower -- in other words, I stink. So, what am I to do -- sit in the tub all day? I don't think so. Perfume and deodorant only makes it worse. Even putting sachets in my underwear drawer and in my closets doesn't help.

(3) You can't remember where you put your glasses and you're wearing them! That happens a lot to both me and Alan.

(4) You read a book and then can't remember what you read, or you read the same paragraph 16 times before you either finally give up on it or you decide to move on and maybe, just maybe you'll get the gist of what the author is saying. This happens a lot, also.

(5) You think you've forgotten something and you haven't -- it just that you forget things so often that you're certain that you must have forgotten something because it's become a habit -- forgetting that is.

That's just a few ways you know you're getting when...

mtf