It was 2 p.m. and I was still in bed, just not able to move; and I was freezing, my teeth chattering, even though I had a space heater pumping heat on me. I was thinking about this disease I have. And, not arthritis which cropped up when I was a teenager and my fingers started showing signs of it. Probably too much piano practicing.
Actually there are two diseases that I put up with other than arthritis. They are obesity, which is something I don't understand, given what I eat. I do know when that started. I had Phil. I gained 30 pounds, lost 40. Had Becky. The doctors didn't care how much weight you gained, so I gained 50 pounds. Lost 10. Got pregnant with Cyndi, again the doctor didn't care what I gained. I gained 70 pounds. You see where I am? Up 110 pounds. I eventually lost 35 pounds after Cyndi, but haven't been below 175 since 1972. Try as I might, weight loss just doesn't happen. And I should weigh about 110-115 for my height.
Alan can go on the same diet as I, eat twice as much as I do, and lose 30 pounds. I lose 3. So I gave up on dieting, figuring that the first three letters of the word explained why I shouldn't bother. I'm going to die anyway, and I might as well enjoy what I do eat as long as I'm alive.
In recent years I've gone down to one meal a day. Yes, that's correct, one meal. Maybe a nibble at lunch time, like a piece of cheese, but that's about it. On rare occasions I'll nuke a small pizza, but dinner is the meal I eat. Always a huge salad with a lemon/balsamic/ minimal oil dressing. (no meat or cheese in the salad, only raw veggies) And then a piece of meat, which I rarely finish, and some kind of starchy vegetable or rice or pasta. So I'm obese. They say it's a disease. I wonder about that.
But my new disease -- diagnosed a year ago -- is growing by leaps and bounds. That is the effect of it are. I mean until the lyrica commercials who ever heard of fibromyalgia. Well, actually I had because when the Internet became part of my everyday life, I looked up my symptoms -- feeling like I had the flu all the time, the terrible pain I endured if anyone touched me or hugged me. The pain of laying in bed, even.
Well, my doctor, after I had had it, so to speak, gave me lyrica. It worked for a while, then I started getting flare ups, which I'm told I will have to endure for the rest of my life. Yippee.
Which brings me back to getting up at 2 p.m. today (and yesterday and the day before). I just don't want to move, movement is so painful, so I stay still, as still as I possibly can, because I guess I'm numb to certain pain points, but the burn that accompanies the disease doesn't go away. Burn as in I have a very, very bad sunburn including the chills and aches that accompany that type of burn.
I am grateful, however, that I have had days when I can hold my grandchildren without pain, days when people can hug me, without pain, but people are now asking if it's a good day for that (hugging), and I'm grateful that my dear husband is putting the dishes away that are in the dishwasher. And I'm grateful that I still laugh when I find the things he put away in the most illogical places I (me) could think of, but to him seem so very logical, like putting the salad spoon and fork in the knife drawer. Go figure.
The pain is waining and I'll be okay for several hours. In those few hours I'll get some things accomplished, which will make me feel like I'm worth more than just a blob on the face of the earth.
God is so good, He's so good to me. Praise his Holy name.
If you want to read something more uplifting, visit http://www.runnemederemembered.blogspot.com.
ttfn
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
BRRR....
Global warming, it ain't? Another ice-age? Maybe. Climate change -- who cares? It just plain cold, and getting colder. The temp has warmed up a degree today, it's now 10 degrees, but it's supposed to sink to way below zero tonight, with wind chills I don't even want to think about.
I've been mulling a lot of things in my mind the past couple of days but suffice it to say the ideas pop up in my mind at 3 a.m. when I'm trying desperately to get to sleep, and I only hope I can recall them in the morning when I get up. So far, no (yes, "NO") good. I can't recall any of my super interesting ideas for BLOG reports.
I recall when we first moved here that first winter we suffered through several below zero days and I thought, "hmmm, is this was Cincinnati winters were like?" And since it got so cold, I thought maybe we'd have lots of snow. Cincinnati has never had lots of snow. Oh, there have been storms, but a winter of snow-covered ground? Nah. Anyway, I then detected a pattern. Each year, either the second or third week in January, the temps fall very low, they stay there for a week, and then we bounce back. So, I'm waiting it out. Next week or the next after that we'll be back to lows in the 20s and days in the 40s or 50s. Maybe a good snowstorm thrown in there for good measure, who knows.
I noticed another thing today. Most important, it wasn't cloudy; so this isn't a true judge of things. It was sunny all day. And I noticed that it wasn't dark at 5 p.m. Does that mean the days of daylight are getting longer? Oh, happy day! I despise the dark gloomy days of winter. I don't mind the heat, nor the cold -- well, not too much. But I do dislike immensely the darkness that covers the earth during this time of the year.
So, I rejoice today at noticing that light is coming back. Yip, Yip, hooray!
ttfn
I've been mulling a lot of things in my mind the past couple of days but suffice it to say the ideas pop up in my mind at 3 a.m. when I'm trying desperately to get to sleep, and I only hope I can recall them in the morning when I get up. So far, no (yes, "NO") good. I can't recall any of my super interesting ideas for BLOG reports.
I recall when we first moved here that first winter we suffered through several below zero days and I thought, "hmmm, is this was Cincinnati winters were like?" And since it got so cold, I thought maybe we'd have lots of snow. Cincinnati has never had lots of snow. Oh, there have been storms, but a winter of snow-covered ground? Nah. Anyway, I then detected a pattern. Each year, either the second or third week in January, the temps fall very low, they stay there for a week, and then we bounce back. So, I'm waiting it out. Next week or the next after that we'll be back to lows in the 20s and days in the 40s or 50s. Maybe a good snowstorm thrown in there for good measure, who knows.
I noticed another thing today. Most important, it wasn't cloudy; so this isn't a true judge of things. It was sunny all day. And I noticed that it wasn't dark at 5 p.m. Does that mean the days of daylight are getting longer? Oh, happy day! I despise the dark gloomy days of winter. I don't mind the heat, nor the cold -- well, not too much. But I do dislike immensely the darkness that covers the earth during this time of the year.
So, I rejoice today at noticing that light is coming back. Yip, Yip, hooray!
ttfn
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Snow
Again we were promised a couple of inches of snow and barely got a dusting! I hate when the weather men do that. Can't they even get it right three hours before the "event" is supposed to occur? It is very cold and getting colder and windier so that the wind chill factor puts the temp around zero and dropping.
We have life group tonight. I'm not looking forward to going out in the cold. I just know what it's going to do to my knees which have been good for two days now.
I keep asking Alan why my body is so erratic. He just looks at me and says nothing. It's weird. I can be so fine one day and the next I'm flat on my back and I don't know what triggers the pain. if I did, I do everything I could to control it.
My kidneys seem to be working much better, but that could be because I'm drinking more than the required amount of water.
And once again they're telling us we should get a good dousing of snow tomorrow. Yeah, right! I'll believe it when I see it. But, I hope I do see it!
My D-I-L, Amy, called today. I need to pray more for her. She's still sick from the pneumonia she had since Thanksgiving. The pneumonia is gone, they tell her, but the after effects are still lingering. I know the feelings she's having about her ability to maintain her home. There is none. She's does something as simple as getting lunch for Rachel and Matthew and she's pooped. There is NO energy left to do anything but get back on the sofa. I only wish I could help her.
I haven't heard from my other daughters for several days. I'm not concerned, but they haven't even added to their Facebooks, so I haven't a clue what's going on with them, except that Cyndi's suburban got a window knocked out. It's been replaced, but I don't know how it happened or where? I sure hope it didn't happen while she was driving with the children in the car.
Well, I'm going to sign off for now. I think I'll rest until I have to get dinner ready. We're having "chicken something" for dinner tonight. Poor Alan. He doesn't really like "chicken anything".
Gotta go.
ttfn
We have life group tonight. I'm not looking forward to going out in the cold. I just know what it's going to do to my knees which have been good for two days now.
I keep asking Alan why my body is so erratic. He just looks at me and says nothing. It's weird. I can be so fine one day and the next I'm flat on my back and I don't know what triggers the pain. if I did, I do everything I could to control it.
My kidneys seem to be working much better, but that could be because I'm drinking more than the required amount of water.
And once again they're telling us we should get a good dousing of snow tomorrow. Yeah, right! I'll believe it when I see it. But, I hope I do see it!
My D-I-L, Amy, called today. I need to pray more for her. She's still sick from the pneumonia she had since Thanksgiving. The pneumonia is gone, they tell her, but the after effects are still lingering. I know the feelings she's having about her ability to maintain her home. There is none. She's does something as simple as getting lunch for Rachel and Matthew and she's pooped. There is NO energy left to do anything but get back on the sofa. I only wish I could help her.
I haven't heard from my other daughters for several days. I'm not concerned, but they haven't even added to their Facebooks, so I haven't a clue what's going on with them, except that Cyndi's suburban got a window knocked out. It's been replaced, but I don't know how it happened or where? I sure hope it didn't happen while she was driving with the children in the car.
Well, I'm going to sign off for now. I think I'll rest until I have to get dinner ready. We're having "chicken something" for dinner tonight. Poor Alan. He doesn't really like "chicken anything".
Gotta go.
ttfn
This may be a rant
I was thinking last night about this executive order that P-E Obama is planning to issue his first day in office. You know, the one that will close down Gitmo. I was wondering how he could do that? Doesn't that require an act of congress? Of course, I'm sure if it did, congress would go along with it, but it's scary to think that the President of the US can just write an order and shut down a military base. And what are they going to do with all those terrorists that are being housed there? I say housed, because it doesn't seem that they are being brought to trial or whatever is supposed to happened to a POW. I would just say they are POWs and move them to some really, really secure prison, or put them in with the inmates we have in our prisons and let them fend for themselves. I have no sympathy for any of them. Is that wrong? I don't think so. Alan thinks they should move all the prisoners to the US Senate building. A talk radio host thinks they should be moved to the ACLU office building in DC.
But, then I asked Alan how he could do that, and he said PE-O probably could do that because there was no one to give him or any senator or congressman money to keep the place open. That's how it works. A base is located in Texas and all the Texas Congress people in both houses fight to keep the base open and if a President wrote an order to close it, there would be hell to pay in Texas because the economy would falter. No economy in Cuba, so we close the base.
So, here's what I'm thinking. If the president can just write an executive order and close down a base, then surely he can close down anything else he wants, like my Kroger's or Macy's or maybe even claim my condo by eminent domain. That's an even scarier thought.
I think the next four years are going to be the worst years I've ever lived through. A person who has little experience in government, a person who spent 75 days in the US Senate and a couple of years in the Illinois state house is the president being led by a bunch of groupies who may or may not have this country's best interests at heart. How stupid are the people who voted for this man? And they said Sarah Palin had no experience? I think she would do a better job. At least we know she'd be thinking for herself.
I was reading a book yesterday and it brought back to mind Hurricane Betsy which hit New Orleans in 1965. The same events that happened with Katrina happened in that hurricane, but the people of Louisiana cleaned it up themselves and didn't moan and groan and beg the federal government for big bucks (billions of dollars, as President Bush said in his last press conference. $2.8 billion has been poured into New Orleans). And why? Because they had a puppet mayor, just like we now have a puppet President Elect. Woe are we!
ttfn
But, then I asked Alan how he could do that, and he said PE-O probably could do that because there was no one to give him or any senator or congressman money to keep the place open. That's how it works. A base is located in Texas and all the Texas Congress people in both houses fight to keep the base open and if a President wrote an order to close it, there would be hell to pay in Texas because the economy would falter. No economy in Cuba, so we close the base.
So, here's what I'm thinking. If the president can just write an executive order and close down a base, then surely he can close down anything else he wants, like my Kroger's or Macy's or maybe even claim my condo by eminent domain. That's an even scarier thought.
I think the next four years are going to be the worst years I've ever lived through. A person who has little experience in government, a person who spent 75 days in the US Senate and a couple of years in the Illinois state house is the president being led by a bunch of groupies who may or may not have this country's best interests at heart. How stupid are the people who voted for this man? And they said Sarah Palin had no experience? I think she would do a better job. At least we know she'd be thinking for herself.
I was reading a book yesterday and it brought back to mind Hurricane Betsy which hit New Orleans in 1965. The same events that happened with Katrina happened in that hurricane, but the people of Louisiana cleaned it up themselves and didn't moan and groan and beg the federal government for big bucks (billions of dollars, as President Bush said in his last press conference. $2.8 billion has been poured into New Orleans). And why? Because they had a puppet mayor, just like we now have a puppet President Elect. Woe are we!
ttfn
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Tomorrow
Tomorrow is Sunday, or as my father always said, "It's the Lord's Day." Well, yes, Sunday was always the Lord's Day, but The Psalmist said that "This is the day that the Lord has made (i.e., the Lord's Day), let us rejoice and be glad in it." No specificity was made as to whether it was Sunday or Wednesday or Friday. So, tomorrow is Sunday, but today, as everyday is The Lord's Day.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to it being another Sunday in my life. I pray I can get out and about and get to church. That's not something that happens very often, unfortunately. I miss church.
The church we've attended for over 25 years is now meeting in a school and the walk from my car to the "sanctuary" (auditorium) is quite long. And even if I take the walker, I'm exhausted and hurting very badly by the time I get to a seat. The same can be said for the church Alan prefers. Only the pain in that church occurs because of the pews. That old nerve shoots me from hip to ankle throughout the whole service.
These "excuses" are not something I enjoy talking about. I really would prefer being with others of "like precious faith" as my dad said (and I think the Apostle Paul said), but unless and until I have more mobility it isn't going to happen, so I have to rely on God's Word alone for my "food". Not a bad diet, I must say.
I'm told not to worry about tomorrow, because no one knows what tomorrow will bring. Who knows? Maybe it will be the glorious appearing of our Lord! Wow!
mtf maybe
Anyway, I'm looking forward to it being another Sunday in my life. I pray I can get out and about and get to church. That's not something that happens very often, unfortunately. I miss church.
The church we've attended for over 25 years is now meeting in a school and the walk from my car to the "sanctuary" (auditorium) is quite long. And even if I take the walker, I'm exhausted and hurting very badly by the time I get to a seat. The same can be said for the church Alan prefers. Only the pain in that church occurs because of the pews. That old nerve shoots me from hip to ankle throughout the whole service.
These "excuses" are not something I enjoy talking about. I really would prefer being with others of "like precious faith" as my dad said (and I think the Apostle Paul said), but unless and until I have more mobility it isn't going to happen, so I have to rely on God's Word alone for my "food". Not a bad diet, I must say.
I'm told not to worry about tomorrow, because no one knows what tomorrow will bring. Who knows? Maybe it will be the glorious appearing of our Lord! Wow!
mtf maybe
Friday, January 9, 2009
Yesterday
Well, I hate to be moribund (is that a word?) but yesterday was a "don't get out of bed unless you want to make things worse" day.
I woke up around 3 a.m. (on Thursday morning -- January 8) with such very bad nerve pain that I knew I was having another flare-up, and I took medicine to counteract it right away, but never recouped until almost dinner time.
Alan and I had decided we were going on a date come what may and so I pushed through and we went to one of the nicest restaurants in the Cincinnati area -- the Greyhound in Fort Mitchell. We had a great table with a spotlight right over it, which was good, because most tables are lit only by candles, which I admit is more romantic, but Alan can't see in that type of light, so I was very grateful to be "in the light" so to speak. We both ordered a Kentucky Brown -- not a heavy dinner, but enough for us. We seem to be eating a lot less than we used to. We did take our dessert home, because we were both full.
So, he and I had a really nice, companionable dinner. We talked about our next "dream" vacation to Florida and including a cruise in that trip. And we talked about our dream summer vacation -- a train trip from Chicago to Seattle to get on a boat to go to Alaska. Prices on cruises are down right now and it's a good time for us to finally take the trip we've been talking about for years.
However, we both realize that travel for us may not happen any more. Each trip we take gets more and more difficult for both of us. But I can't complain, we've had five good years (except for the summer he got shingles) of travel and have been on more cruises than I could ever have imagined, and seen more of the Caribbean and Mexico and Central America, including Panama, than I ever hoped to see. We've done things I never thought we'd do together, mainly because until we sold our home and realized a profit on it, we had little money to spend on such frivolities, and Alan's surprise to me of saving for years and not telling me so that we could travel, if our health allowed, after we both retired. So, I thank my husband for that. And I thank God for the years he has given us to travel -- not in our dreams, but for real.
ttfn
I woke up around 3 a.m. (on Thursday morning -- January 8) with such very bad nerve pain that I knew I was having another flare-up, and I took medicine to counteract it right away, but never recouped until almost dinner time.
Alan and I had decided we were going on a date come what may and so I pushed through and we went to one of the nicest restaurants in the Cincinnati area -- the Greyhound in Fort Mitchell. We had a great table with a spotlight right over it, which was good, because most tables are lit only by candles, which I admit is more romantic, but Alan can't see in that type of light, so I was very grateful to be "in the light" so to speak. We both ordered a Kentucky Brown -- not a heavy dinner, but enough for us. We seem to be eating a lot less than we used to. We did take our dessert home, because we were both full.
So, he and I had a really nice, companionable dinner. We talked about our next "dream" vacation to Florida and including a cruise in that trip. And we talked about our dream summer vacation -- a train trip from Chicago to Seattle to get on a boat to go to Alaska. Prices on cruises are down right now and it's a good time for us to finally take the trip we've been talking about for years.
However, we both realize that travel for us may not happen any more. Each trip we take gets more and more difficult for both of us. But I can't complain, we've had five good years (except for the summer he got shingles) of travel and have been on more cruises than I could ever have imagined, and seen more of the Caribbean and Mexico and Central America, including Panama, than I ever hoped to see. We've done things I never thought we'd do together, mainly because until we sold our home and realized a profit on it, we had little money to spend on such frivolities, and Alan's surprise to me of saving for years and not telling me so that we could travel, if our health allowed, after we both retired. So, I thank my husband for that. And I thank God for the years he has given us to travel -- not in our dreams, but for real.
ttfn
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Snowy day
It was a snowy day. Off and on snow showers which accumulated to dust. But it looked pretty.
I don't know what happens to me. I was doing so well for three days, yes three, then today, boom, there I am again, flat on my back with severe back pain and that right-knee just not cooperating at all.
It takes me so long to get up from either a sitting or lying position (or is it laying position?) because I have to very slowly straighten out the right leg, hear it pop, endure the popped-in pain, and then I can move on. Not fun. At least today's setback wasn't a fibromyalgia back-up.
We had a busy day yesterday. My helpers with my cleaning came in and of course, I can't sit still while they're here cleaning. No siree! I must be one step ahead of them so they don't think I'm a dirty housekeeper. Of course, the whole purpose of having someone to clean for me is so that I don't have to do the cleaning, but I just can't give it up.
I know I can't get things clean because I can't get down and dirty, but I still try. I guess I'd feel better more often if I'd just led the ladies who are helping me do their job and not try to butt in and try to help them do my job. Yes, that makes sense if you read it sixteen times!
So, I have to try to be more willing to let others see my dirt, and more willing to let the place be a mess for a few days after it is spiffied up. I love having it clean, and I don't like having it a mess or not clean.
I haven't mentioned my office recently. Well folks, it's cleared of ALL Christmas stuff which means you can see the floor. My cleaner was actually able to get into the room and vacuum it yesterday. I still have several boxes of Creative Memories papers and albums that I need to get rid of (anybody want any?) and then I'll have my office back.
I'm still scrapbooking, don't misunderstand, it just that in 100 years I wouldn't use all the materials I've received from Creative Memories because I was a sales consultant. I could open a store, but I won't. My biggest problem with the CM items is that I don't know what I really want to let go. I know there are albums which I will never use -- the 8x8s. Not into the smaller albums. And I have several of the larger albums which I doubt I'll use. That means that all those 8x8 papers I won't need either. And I have to decide which if the 12x12 papers I want to keep, and which I want to get rid of.
I'll probably work on that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
ttfn
I don't know what happens to me. I was doing so well for three days, yes three, then today, boom, there I am again, flat on my back with severe back pain and that right-knee just not cooperating at all.
It takes me so long to get up from either a sitting or lying position (or is it laying position?) because I have to very slowly straighten out the right leg, hear it pop, endure the popped-in pain, and then I can move on. Not fun. At least today's setback wasn't a fibromyalgia back-up.
We had a busy day yesterday. My helpers with my cleaning came in and of course, I can't sit still while they're here cleaning. No siree! I must be one step ahead of them so they don't think I'm a dirty housekeeper. Of course, the whole purpose of having someone to clean for me is so that I don't have to do the cleaning, but I just can't give it up.
I know I can't get things clean because I can't get down and dirty, but I still try. I guess I'd feel better more often if I'd just led the ladies who are helping me do their job and not try to butt in and try to help them do my job. Yes, that makes sense if you read it sixteen times!
So, I have to try to be more willing to let others see my dirt, and more willing to let the place be a mess for a few days after it is spiffied up. I love having it clean, and I don't like having it a mess or not clean.
I haven't mentioned my office recently. Well folks, it's cleared of ALL Christmas stuff which means you can see the floor. My cleaner was actually able to get into the room and vacuum it yesterday. I still have several boxes of Creative Memories papers and albums that I need to get rid of (anybody want any?) and then I'll have my office back.
I'm still scrapbooking, don't misunderstand, it just that in 100 years I wouldn't use all the materials I've received from Creative Memories because I was a sales consultant. I could open a store, but I won't. My biggest problem with the CM items is that I don't know what I really want to let go. I know there are albums which I will never use -- the 8x8s. Not into the smaller albums. And I have several of the larger albums which I doubt I'll use. That means that all those 8x8 papers I won't need either. And I have to decide which if the 12x12 papers I want to keep, and which I want to get rid of.
I'll probably work on that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
ttfn
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