Still walking

I can't believe I'm walking so well. Didn't use the walker once today. Haven't needed it.

I did quite a bit of housework, too. I washed the kitchen floor three times -- it took three swiffer swabs to get it clean. Then, I proceded to make dinner and started spilling things. Why is it I don't sptill things on the floor when it's dirty, only when it's spanking clean? Then I have to spot wash, but feel that my floor is dirty even though I know it's clean. I like my kitchen floor to be as clean as my table top, even if only for the first five minutes after I've washed it.

I also washed both bathroom floors, but what's new there. That's a daily chore. I remembered to squeegie the shower this morning. I usually forget to do that, and by the time I remember, it's all dry and the water spots are laughing at me.

Today is my daughter, Becky's 30-something birthday (37?). I guess she wouldn't be pleased with me to know that I've announced to the world how old she is. But she's beautiful and is aging to well. You wouldn't know she was on the shy side of 40. She's no wrinkles or lines, her skin is wonderful, and well, she's just a beautiful woman both inside and out.

I don't know how I happened to birth two beautiful girls. Cyndi is also beautiful -- she's the one that looks like Julia Roberts -- I don't think she looks like either me or Alan, and I don't see a mix either. Yet I know she's mine. Becky resembles my mother, with a little of Alan's mom thrown in. And there are a couple of pictures of me when I was smaller which resemble her. So, happy birthday, Beck. Have a great day.

Mom

New look, new health

Well, I thought the flare up had fizzled out, and perhaps it has mostly, but I have to say that last night was a doozy. Wow! I'm glad today turned out to be a fizzling sort of day.

Rosie is at camp by now, and I hope she likes it. She's so precocious, and forward. I think she'll do okay. I was too shy and my camp experience wasn't that great. I remember my counsellor's name -- Miss Lois -- and I can vaguely see her in the recesses of my mind. And she was the only friend I had at that camp.

I wrote a note to Rosie telling her that if she needed a friend that's what her counsellor was there for -- not just discipline and taking care of her, but to be her friend. Rosie's bladder is still not developed and she still cannot hold much, so night-time for her is especially difficult when she is not at home.

Well, I'm headed for the TV room and watch the Sunday night fights (food network and HGTV). Since it's been a very bland day, I don't have anything else to write about.

Friday

Well, I can't believe it and I'm afraid to dwell on the fact that my knee doesn't hurt at all, and the tingling is gone in my joints as well as the stinging pain that I've put up with for three weeks. Just disappeared today.

I rejoice in one day of little pain. There's still minimal in my back, but that's okay. I have been sleeping a lot and that's probably rested all those bad nerves and things that have been biting me the past three weeks.

Alan is doing great after his tooth-pull. Tonight, however, he has a rash and we think it's because he was prescribed vicoden to ward off the pain of the pull. But, it might be his patch is doing it. We had to stop them before, and maybe he can only tolerate them for two weeks then he has to let them go. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

I'm still trying to get something going for the 4th. It's working.

Tomorrow, God willing, that I'll be able to walk well enough, I'm going to lunch with Amy. I always enjoy these lunches with her and I think it's because she's not afraid to eat. I mean she doesn't order a salad -- small size please -- with dressing on the size which doesn't get used. And that's it. She's like me. She orders what she wants to eat regardless of the number of calories.

I say, if I go out to eat -- which isn't that often-- then I ought to enjoy what I dont' get at home and I always have a salad at home. So, I get unusual things, usually seafoody stuff that I can't get other places, like if they have crab-cakes. Yum!

So, I'm eating out tomorrow at noon, and then I have to cook the ribs I bought a couple of days ago because they've been thawed out for two days and I don't want them to go bad. So, when I get home, I'll cook the ribs. Maybe I'll have a new pot to put them in. I need an oblong pot -- not my lasagna pan -- but something for ribs and larger roasts -- roasts that aren't big enough to put in the lasagna pan.

Well, that's enough for this boring day.

Better day

Well, today I'm doing a bit better. Still sting all over, but I'm walking a bit -- just a little. Still tentative on the feet. I had to WALK today because Alan had a tooth extraction, and of course, I couldn't let him drive home drunk. And drunk he was. laughing gas!

When we pulled Walgreen's he was telling me all these things to do that weren't possible for either him or me to do at that point in time. I couldn't walk through Walgreen's to get him some vitamin he thinks he needs TODAY, and for which he has at least a two-week supply left at home. And he's bleeding and talking so I can't understand a word he says, which I mentioned several times, and finally told him not to talk any more. Use sign language. Well, he, not being Italian didn't work well with that idea.

We finally got all our drugs and headed home. I actually konked out shortly after we walked in the door. He was already asleep in the car by the time we got home. And, yeah, I knew I didn't have to make any supper because he couldn't eat anything, and he wasn't in the mood for anything liquid either. So, I didn't guilt trip about sleeping until 7 p.m. when a nice soothing thunderstorm woke me up.

So, that was our day. Another day of doing little -- oh yeah, I did three loads of wash before I took Alan to the dentist. The third load is still in the dryer.

Bad day

Well, we both went to see the doctor today. She thinks Alan might have a thyroid problem. She understands and keeps emphasizing that his recovery from shingles will be very long and very slow, if ever. His immune system just will not support much improvement. So, he's on THE PATCH. No, not a nicotine patch, but a lydocain patch. I forget the exact name of it, but he's on it for 12 hours a day, then off it. It really does seem to help.

I, on the other, hand, am sliding DOWN the slippery slope that happens after age 60. She believes I'm have a "flare up" of fibromyalgia which cannot be controlled by the drugs I'm taking. It's out the realm of control that the drugs give me. So, I hurt, and I hurt bad. I mean, I feel like I fell off my bike and skinned my knees, but I feel like that all over my body, every bit of it. Every nerve end is stinging. Today is the worst I've been so far. I've been in tears most of the day (staying away from Alan because he gets very upset when I cry because I'm hurting).

So, now what do I do. I can't stand being an invalid. I enjoy doing things. Should I quit Creative Memories (again), or should I take a leave of absence. Should I bury my head in the ground and ignore everything, and just hope something better happens?

I pray. I pray. And, I pray. I ask that God will grant me relief -- and perhaps He is, maybe it would be worse if I weren't depending on Him to help me through this.

I know this is depressing to anyone reading it. But who knows about fibromyalgia anyway? I didn't until a few months ago. I mean I knew it existed, I just didn't know what it did to the body and what it felt like -- well I did know what it felt like, but I didn't know that I knew what it felt like because I didn't know I had it. Now I know what it feels like.

Other things happened today and I don't know whether I want to record them. Just to say, I'm not speaking to Alan for a while. All I wanted to do was go out to eat. He didn't. So, instead, I struggled through grocery shopping so I would have something to serve him for dinner, and for which he had to wait in the car while I shopped. 'Nuf said.

Yippie ki yo ki yeah!

I found me a butcher. For two years Alan and I have been tolerating cardboard tasting meat. I thought I had a butcher back at our old haunts, but that didn't come to fruition. I don't like it when I order something then three months later it still hasn't come in. I mean, how difficult would it be for a TRUE butcher to find a source for lamb or duck?

So, today a neighbor told me that one of our neighbors works for a butcher in his spare time -- he's a student at NKU. And so I did a little scouting and found the store and yes, yes, yes there is a true butcher on the premises. They cut their own beef -- they get sides and make the cuts fresh twice a week. (Tuesday and Friday). So if I go on Tuesday or Friday I'll get really fresh cuts of meat. And he was willing to order me veal and lamb and duck. I'm a happy camper. Boy, am I a happy camper.

I put a chuck roast in the oven as soon as I got home, topped it with potatoes, onions, and carrots, and will serve it with fresh tomatoes and basil salad. Yes, I am now getting fresh, home-grown tomatoes, right from the vine, with just a little green still showing, or not. And after last week's experience with testing the tomatoes I know they are really, really good. They do, after all, taste like tomatoes -- isn't that the true test of any food? It must taste like it's supposed to.

I guess kids today, unless they were raised like mine where I stalked the farmers' markets all summer and used the freshest fruits and vegetables I could get, and canned a lot, don't even know what a good tomato tastes like. The tomatoes in the stores are NOT good tomatoes. Even my favorite produce market doesn't have good tomatoes. I know the difference, and Alan knows the difference.

So, I'm getting ready to make my favorite tomato and basil and onion salad -- Alan likes it too. My only regret is that I won't be sopping up the juice with Italian bread, since we've cut out bread for at least one more month.

The pain in the knee is worse today than it has been for months, but the butcher shop required only 8 steps to get to the case where the meet was displayed and where I could talk to the butcher to place an order, then 8 steps back to the car. Not bad. And at the farmer's market I lucked out and got a parking space right next to the first truck which had my tomatoes. So, I thank the Lord for answering my prayer -- Please let me get close enough not to have to walk too many steps to get what we need.

I'm set for at least a week.

Bible study tonight. We're still working through the book of Mark. Since I last the last couple of weeks, I'm not sure which chapter we're enjoying tonight, but I know it will be enjoyable and helpful and a blessing.

More on Monday

I was thinking about how much I love where I live. And how it has morphed since we moved in here. The deck has been enclosed and become a sun porch which is useable all year round, mostly. There are a few days in the winter when I can't spend any time out there, but most of the year it's open for business.

My bedroom, which I absolutely love, and which is think is beautiful, is now sea-foam green, or is is blue, I can't tell, but the color is somewhere between pale green and pale blue, but not aqua. And that has changed from purple and lavender to the new color. Alan wanted the purple and that's what we had in our old house, so I kept it, but I so wanted a change, and this year, I was given a few gift coupons to Pier One for various reasons and I bought new curtains and I got new pillow covers at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I love those stores.

My kitchen is still one of my favorite places, but my knee hurts to bad whenever I'm doing something in there. I don't know what it is, but after I've been working for even just a few minutes, my knee collapses and the pain is awful. Only in that room. I can stand in any other room and not have that problem.

Of course, I still enjoy my HUGE bathroom. The tub especially is wonderful. It's big enough for me -- which means because I'm a fat lady, it's a big, tub.

So, I'm blessed, yes I am. God has allowed me and Alan to have this wonderful home in a wonderful neighborhood with a lot of good Christian neighbors with whom we share a lot of things -- mostly wounded knees!

I'm still mulling over my trip to Mt. Airy and Bristol. Alan thinks I should take 10 days -- as far as I'm concerned that's not an option. Too many days without him. Also, I don't think he will be able to handle that many days without me. I will pre-fill his syringes, and he will have to give himself his own shots, which I don't think he's going to like very much. He used to do that when he had a pen that self injected the correct amount of interferon, but actually plunging the needle in his belly? I don't know if he'll be able to do that without fainting. He does have a tendency to pass out whenever they draw his blood. When I give him his shot, he just turns his head and when it's over I tell him. Apparently, when you get a shot in the belly, you don't feel it. I don't want to test that thesis, but that's what I'm told.

So, Monday, June 23, is almost over, and it was a good day. Thank you Lord.