Getting old

Well, that's a topic I'm familiar with. I remember when I was growing up and beginning to really notice things that people did, it seemed to me that old people did some things (by old people, I mean the ones with gray hair) I thought were strange or common or just plain weird. And now that I've gotten to that stage of my life, I understand why these actions are necessary.

Item 1: The finger in the ear. Did you know that as you age your ear fluffs off more wax than when you are younger. This can be bothersome and very itchy. I know because, as my doctor tells me, I have eczema of the ear. Who knew? I never heard of that before, but the itching in my ear is very annoying and I just have to scratch. I try to do that as privately as I can, but it's not always possible.

Item 2: Grunting. Almost all elderly people grunt. They grunt when they turn over in bed, they grunt when they get out of a chair, they grunt when they walk, they grunt when they eat. The elderly are just a bunch of grunters. Well, youngsters, if you had the aches and pains we oldsters endure, you'd grunt, too. I hear that some almost-40-somethings, are having a more difficult time getting up in the morning and making that first run to you know where, and there is a lot of grunting going on, on that trek. Just sayin'.

Item 3: Hand wringing. A lot of us old folks are constantly wringing our hands. I call it hand rubbing. We are really just rubbing the joints in our hands trying to keep them limber so that when we have to use them, they function.

Item 4: The cough. I know you all have notice this. The ah-hem, or the plain out-and-out upchucking type of cough you see and laugh at on TV. Well, a lot of us take blood pressure medicine which can as a side effect cause a tickle in the throat. Some of us can just get by with an ah-hem type of cough; others actually dry cough, which is annoying if you're talking on the phone and every five seconds, the elderly person is coughing in your ear, and some of us never learned how to be discreet when we cough and just plain upchuck as loud as we can. That would be mostly the male population, by the way.

Item 5: The walk. Or should I say the shuffle. My brother has always hated it when someone shuffles their feet, and at 62, he still walks like a man and doesn't have to shuffle his feet. You may recall Tim Conway's comedic portrayal of the old man, and his walk. Well, while it was funny when we were younger, now that we're walking like that, it isn't funny any more. My dear husband can do a perfect Tim Conway -- not by choice, but because he's deteriorated to that level of a walk, as have I.

Item 6: The nose blowers and the dirty hankies. How I wish I could get my husband to use a tissue instead of a handkerchief. Yuck. The nose blowers, again, are mostly male. We females are a little more inhibited when it comes to nose-blowing in public or anywhere else. We sort of just wipe, and rarely blow, unless we have a cold. Seems like some men I know either always have a cold, or find comfort in carrying around a wet rag in their pocket.

Item 7: The hand cupped over the outer part of the ear, pulling the ear forward as if to cup the sound. Let me just say, it doesn't work, but some people think it does. Again, mostly men. I personally find this annoying still, as I did when my father did it. That little action didn't seem to help him hear me any better than if he wasn't raising his hand to his ear and, well, you know.

And now, all joking aside, there's always a serious note, isn't there?

Item 8: The God thing. As I get older I find fewer and fewer elderly people who don't believe in God, and who don't believe in an after-life. Maybe it's just the people I've surrounded myself with, but I don't think so. We all went through the "love fest" in the 60s, and we all ended up with a belief that soon we will be either dead and that's it, or we'll be enjoying being with our Lord in Heaven.

I read an interesting book yesterday and it talks about getting older, and going through the last stages of life, and there are when we face terminal illness several ways we actually get better and don't die -- YET. There are five stages of healing: Attitude -- our attitude toward disease can be a healing balm or not; immune system -- our immune system is fearfully and wonderfully made, and it can kick in at the oddest times, even at death's door; medical science -- God has given men and women the ability to design new drugs, new treatments, etc., and medical science can be a seque to our physical healing; a true miracle of God -- a healing for which there is no other explanation, except that "God did it!"; and last, the final healing -- when we leave this earth and rest in the arms of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Oh what a day that will be!